Tonight in Gotham: DISCONTINUED
by Nightmares Walk
Summary: Tonight in Gotham, hosted by Natalie Woods, will be asking questions to the villains made by you, the viewers. Rated T for violence soon to come. Discontinued due to lack of interest.
1. Action!

Tonight in Gotham

I do not own Batman, no matter how much I want to.  
There is a link near the top of my profile for the layout of the set.  
It's color-coded for convenience, to for displaying the actual colors.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Natalie Woods' heart began to hammer as the makeup lady applied a natural looking blush to her cheeks. Tonight would be her very first show, and she could hardly contain herself. The makeup lady had finished, and Natalie stood up, brushing off anything that could have gotten on her black sweater or dress pants. Her two-inch heels clicked each time she took a step, and she quickly made her way to the backstage room.

A man with a small microphone came towards her and pinned it on the lapel of her suit jacket.

She took a deep breath, nervous despite the hours she had spent memorizing what it was she'd be talking about.

"Ya nervous?" The guy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Unbelievably." She replied, tucking a stray lock of dark brown hair out of her face.

"Don't be, you're gonna be great, kid." The man patted her shoulder and walked off before a woman carrying a clipboard and pencil began to usher her to the curtain area.

"We've got one minute 'til the show starts. You forget what to say, don't be afraid to look at the prompters."

The opening music to the show began to play, it sounded like the opening bars of Pump It by the Black Eyed Peas. She smiled as the announcer introduced her.

"And for the first time ever, please welcome to the stage Natalie Woods!"

The audience cheered and applauded as Natalie theatrically parted the thick, white curtains, striding to the center of the stage.

She began to wave to the audience, her heart beginning to slow in pulse.

_I can do this. _She thought, calming herself.

She began to speak into the microphone, her lips forming the words, but someone else's voice cut in, completely silencing the audience.

"_Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."_

She looked up above the audience, to the editing/sound room window to see the people in it shrug, shake their heads, and mashing buttons on the soundboard."

"_Ms. Woods and I will be tonight's entertainment. So please welcome our first guest star… Me!"_

Natalie turned and saw The Joker waltz through the curtains on the opposite side of the stage.

The set was completely silent as The Joker joined Natalie at the center of the stage.

"What?" he asked, licking his makeup-smeared lips. "No applause? Tough crowd." He gave a maniacal sort of cackle before jumping onto the plush, white leather couch, sprawling out and making himself quite comfortable.

"Oo. Comfortable couch you've got here, Nat." He said, snuggling into the cushions, smearing some of his makeup onto the leather.

Natalie was unsure of what to say or do.

"… Thank you." she murmured after a pause, voice ringing out through the speakers.

"Manners. I like that." He smiled, showing yellowed teeth. "Now take a seat in your chair, and give me an interview!"

Natalie nodded, stiffly walking over to sit in her own white leather armchair.

A member of the audience got up from her seat with her child, and began to walk towards the exit.

"Not so fast, mommy!" The Joker boomed.

Six men in clown masks carrying guns burst through the entrance to the studio, each one of them carrying a gun.

"If ANY of you get up and leave or call for help, you will die."

Two of the masked men took black garbage bags out of the backpacks they wore.

"Now put all of your little cell phones and other gizmos into the bags… If you don't… There are some really--" he licked his lips "--nasty consequences."

The woman quickly went back to her seat, dragging her child behind her.

The Joker looked at the nearest camera, whose "On Air" signal was flashing.

"We'll continue--hee hee!-- after a commercial break!"

------

Bruce Wayne sat in his recliner, watching the show with a grim face. Alfred stood behind him with an identical expression.

"What do you think, Alfred?" He asked, pursing his lips as the first commercial came on. "If I go in, there might be a lot of casualties."

"And if you don't, it might be the same way. Do whatever you think is best, Master Bruce."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So, my dear audience member, what questions should The Joker be asked? Put your suggestions in reviews or PMs. Don't forget to include a name you want to use if you want to ask from inside the audience. I will give you credit for your questions.


	2. The Interview

Tonight in Gotham

I do not own Batman, no matter how much I want to.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Welcome back to the show." The Joker grinned, looking directly into the camera. "If you're wondering what happened during the break, I took everyone's cell phones. And now--" He clapped his hands together-- "Back to my interview! What's my first question, Nat?"

A voice yelled out from the audience.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!"

"WHO SAID THAT?!" The Joker demanded, glaring at the audience members.

A minute or two passed in silence. No one spoke up.

"Next question." The Joker growled, turning back to Natalie.

"Okay." Natalie took a deep breath before beginning. "What is your real name?"

"Hmm… I'll just give you my first name. We don't want people looking around for my stuff." He brushed away some hair that fell in front of his eyes. "My name was Jack."

"Do you have any living relatives?"

"I'm sure I do… somewhere." He giggled. "Just don't expect to see me at any family reunions."

"Uh-huh." Natalie thought for a moment. "Why did you choose the name 'The Joker'? Why not something like… I dunno… the 'Smiling Man' or something."

"'Smiling Man'?" The Joker shook his head, licking his lips. "You are _horrible_ at naming. Anyhoo, I chose 'The Joker' because when I got these scars, I began to think of all the things that smiled like this." He outlined his scars with his fingers. "I thought about clowns. But 'The Clown' doesn't have much of a ring to it, now does it? But then I thought of my playing cards. The cards that smiled back at me whenever I looked at them-- the Jokers. And that's how I got my name."

Natalie nodded, taking a quick glance at the camera. The "On Air" signal was flashing again.

"More on The Joker after this commercial break.

------

Bruce Wayne-- no, Batman-- looked at all of the gadgets he had lined up at the table. What would he need to get an audience full of people away from The Joker with minimum casualties?

"What should I use, Alfred?" He asked, turning to the butler.

"I might find it efficient to use knock-out gas, sir." Alfred replied, examining the table himself.

"Knock-out gas? But how would I get the people out of that studio? We're talking about at least one hundred fifty or so."

"Just leave them there overnight. You can drag out The Joker and his lackeys while they're gassed."

"Sounds like a plan."

------

The "On Air" signal came on again, and Natalie continued the questioning as if nothing had interrupted them.

"What are your thoughts on the Batman?" She asked, crossing her legs in the chair.

If she had to do this for a little bit more, she might as well be comfortable.

The Joker, finally deciding to sit properly on the couch thought for a second.

"Batman is my arch nemesis, I guess you could say. Going up against him makes my trips back to Arkham worth it every time." He laughed, exposing his yellowed teeth once more.

"About Arkham-- are you really 'insane,' or are you just faking it?"

"I'm _sane_ enough to get into Arkham, aren't I?" He giggled a little bit more.

"Well, Nat, I think we should take more questions from our audience-- who was that, anyway?-- don't you think?"

Natalie nodded, looking out at the audience.

One girl's hand shot up.

"Your name is…?" Joker began, looking at her.

"My name's Haley, and I wanna know-- will you marry me?"

The Joker seemed dumbstruck for a moment, trying to form a reply in his head.

"Next question!" He announced, looking for another hand.

"Why'd you OD?" A male voice called out.

"Who said that?!" The Joker asked, looking around the room.

"Jeez, your audience is mean tonight, Nat." The Joker growled, drumming his fingers on the armrest.

Another hand in the audience rose.

"You?" The Joker asked, not even caring to ask for a name.

"How did you really get your scars?" The woman asked.

The Joker stood up and pulled a knife out of his pocket.

"The question I've been waiting for." He stood up, making his way to the woman.

"When I was walking to my apartment after work, ready to return to my loving wife--"

Before he could continue his story, he was interrupted by an explosion by the door, followed by a hiss. White smoke curled through the air, the audience members and his lackeys coughing and hacking. Some were out like a light.

The Joker grinned.

Finally Batman had come.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

-Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!- xEpIcxXxfAiLx

(-How did you really get your scars?  
-What is your real name?  
-Do you have any living relatives?  
-What are your thoughts on the Batman?  
-Why "The Joker"? What made you choose that name?  
-Are you insane?) - BrilliantInsanity

-Will you marry me?- Jokersgirl24

-Why'd you OD?- Ed (not a username)


	3. Ratings

Tonight in Gotham

I do not own Batman, no matter how much I want to.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Joker…" Batman growled, gas mask neatly strapped onto his face.

"Hey there, Batsy!" Joker said, gripping his knife tightly in his gloved fingers.

"Stop this madness."

Natalie coughed, trying desperately to stay awake as the knock out gas filled her lungs.

"You're not fighting fair--" Joker coughed, covering his mouth with one hand and taking a stab at Batman with the other.

Batman simply caught the knife by the handle, tossing it aside as the Joker continued to hack.

Natalie couldn't stay awake anymore. Her eyelids began to grow heavy, and she struggled to stay awake.

She heard the sickening snap of bone breaking before she fell into the blackness that was threatening to swallow her.

------

Natalie woke up among the unconscious bodies of her audience members and her film crew. A group of paramedics were going around, checking people and administering smelling salts.

Within about half an hour, everyone had woken up.

The film crew had woken up and so had the director and manager. They were all backstage, silent as the director spoke into his phone.

"No… That was insane!… I don't care!… Fine, I'll see what she has to say about it." He hung up, taking a deep breath before turning to Natalie.

"Who was that?" She asked, arching her eyebrows.

"It was the network."

"Are we getting cancelled?"

"No, kid. Now listen. The ratings for this show were through the roof. The people loved it! The network wants new material next week, and they want another villain."

Natalie nodded, lips pursed in thought.

"What happened tonight was dangerous. We could have been killed. Do you want to do this again for more villains?"

Bigger ratings meant bigger money. Bigger money meant bigger stuff. She could finally get that Lamborghini that she had her eye on.

"Do you guys want to go through with this again?" She asked.

She could tell that the others were on similar trains of thought. They all nodded.

"Lets get the Scarecrow."

_Dear Jonathan Crane,_

_We would be enthralled if you could be a guest star on the new late night show, Gotham Tonight! We will pay you a sum of $10,000 dollars if you comply._

_Cordially Yours,_

_Natalie Woods_

Ten thousand dollars in exchange for an interview? Crane could use money like that. He had bills to pay, and better food to buy other than the pig slop that he could just barely afford now. Yes. He would do this interview.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sorry about the late update! Blame my mom. Who has questions for our dear Scarecrow?


	4. Scarecrow

Tonight in Gotham

I do not own Batman, no matter how much I want to.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Johnathan Crane sat tamely in his chair, allowing the makeup artists to work him over. Being the vain person that he was, he didn't mind the makeup artists adding on to his already striking features.

"Three minutes 'til show time, Doc."

Crane nodded, standing up in his chair as the makeup artists stepped aside. Quite leisurely, he walked to the backstage area, staying out of the way of the film crew as they bustled about. He checked his watch. Approximately one minute and forty five seconds.

Whistling a small tune, he waited patiently until he heard the opening theme. With a roar of applause, Natalie stepped out from the curtains on her side, raising her arms like some sort of saint as the crowd cheered.

"Welcome! Tonight, we're going to have a very special guest. Please give a round of applause to Dr. Johnathan Crane!"

Several boos sounded as he walked onstage, but he also heard a few claps. Natalie walked him to his couch before she went to her own chair.

"Thank you for coming, Dr. Crane."

"It's an honor to be here." He schmoozed back.

"As you know, we have a few questions to ask you, so we better get this interview started!" She stole a quick glance at the prompters.

"What made you choose the name 'Scarecrow'?"

Behind her on the TV wall, a picture of his costume appeared on the screen. Not much, really. A business suit with a burlap sack.

"I had always been interested in the effects of fear over the mind, and my fear toxins could make anyone turn tail and run. I figured that I should choose a representation of fear, albeit what I chose is not scary to people, but scary to the crows."

Natalie nodded.

"Did you have any previous jobs before you became a psychiatrist?"

"Yes, actually. I used to be a college professor before I worked with the mentally insane."

"And I'm guessing that you weren't quite cut for the job?"

"No. I began to slip miniscule amounts of fear toxins into their cafeteria food and recorded some rather interesting effects. I had to quit because they could have pinpointed the incident on me, and I didn't want to have such a bad stain on my record."

The "On Air" signal was flashing yet again.

"More questions for the Scarecrow after this break."

------

Bruce sat in his recliner, watching the show grimly.

"You would think that she would have learned something the first time around." Alfred stated.

"Crane's actually being docile tonight, Alfred. Maybe nothing will happen."

"I doubt it, Master Bruce."

"We can only hope that someone in the audience doesn't upset him."

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

No guys, I'm not dead. I was on a rather long hiatus. Well, it wasn't really a hiatus. It was a mix of laziness, groundings, writer's block, and school crap. Anyway, send in your questions for the Scarecrow. I haven't been getting any, anyway. T_T


End file.
